Achievement Hangover

Welcome back to Proof It's Possible! In this episode, we explore the emotional rollercoaster that can follow reaching a major goal—what we call the achievement hangover. It’s that unexpected dip in energy, clarity, or purpose that can hit just after the high of success. Tune in to discover:

• Why achieving a big goal can leave you feeling lost, empty, or even vulnerable.
• How to emotionally prepare for the “low” after a high.
• Practical strategies to stay grounded—like rituals, accountability buddies, and micro-momentum.
• Why your celebrations should last longer than 24 hours.
• How to bring joy into your daily life to ease the emotional aftermath of accomplishment.

Success is only part of the story—how you move forward afterward matters just as much. What kind of support or joy will you build into your next big win? Share your thoughts with us—we’d love to hear!  DM us on Instagram @dayle_sheehan_designs & @jamiedfrancis! See you next time!

This episode is sponsored by our Ultimate Girls Trip! Be sure to go to www.proofitspossible.com for more info

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Jamie:
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Transcript

Jamie (00:01)
Hi everyone, welcome back. Today we're chatting about the achievement hangover. You know that feeling when you do something big and exciting, maybe even scary, ⁓ and then it's over with and you kind of get into a slump or you're feeling.

or you're feeling like, okay, now what? You're lost or whatever that feeling looks like for you. it's the achievement hangover, also known as a vulnerability hangover in my opinion.

Dayle (00:36)
Yes, exactly. Well, I feel like there's a couple of different ways you can go after you do a thing. And I have like a theory about it. I made up the like, or I started saying vulnerability hangover back when I first started public speaking many years ago, because what I felt, feel like happens is we drive towards a goal. We drive, drive, drive all our days, all our nights.

Practice the speech write the book get the deadline meet your deadline meet your deadline and you all of your life and your energy Drives towards this big audacious goal. What especially if it has a big deadline and then you do it everyone claps and Then what and it's just like silence after you also you now have free time you didn't have for the last several months, maybe years you

Jamie (01:08)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Yep.

Dayle (01:35)
don't know if you'll do it again. You don't know if anyone will buy the thing. If you're selling something, like if it's a product launch. So it's like...

Jamie (01:37)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, because I think that it can happen

in more than just like your achievements I think this hangover can happen if you like put yourself out there you you know you go on a retreat or you go to a Business mastermind that you you know you didn't have to do a lot to prep to get there But once you were there you had to be vulnerable you had to make new friends you had to stand on your own two feet you had to talk about your business in a vulnerable way and then you come home from that and you're like whoa that was a lot like

Dayle (01:46)
yeah.

Mm-hmm.

No.

Yes.

Jamie (02:09)
And you feel this like, okay, now what?

Dayle (02:09)
Well that, or you can leave there on the highest high you've ever been on. And you're like, the world's my oyster, I'm gonna hit this, I'm gonna be a millionaire by Monday, I'm gonna do everything, I can do everything. I'm the bomb, me and my new friends are the bomb, we're all gonna conquer the world together.

Jamie (02:15)
Mm-hmm.

But what I think

happens is you, most likely you're on that high and then you get home to your regular life and no one else in your world is on that high. And it feels like you've just entered a room full of, you know, Debbie Downers and you're like, ⁓ it's all the same people.

Dayle (02:30)
Yeah. Yes. No. Exactly.

Yeah, absolutely, for sure. And, and you're trying to

explain your magical experience to people. And nobody understands. And the thing is, that's the same with if you're do like your speaking thing, you're you come off the high and you're like, okay, it's over. It's just over now what like, and there is this like dip that kind of feels sad. And I know that that's like,

Jamie (02:45)
huh. And they don't understand. Yeah.

Yeah.

Dayle (03:06)
such a shit thing. And so I had an experience recently where I got a notification, like I was like watching TV at night or hanging out Darren or something. And I looked down at my phone, it was a notification from like a post from forever ago. So I was like, well, that's really weird. And somebody had like left me a nice message about my book launch. And I was like, ⁓ I should go look at what what book launch highlights I have on my Instagram. Like what's what did even happen there?

Jamie (03:34)
What is she seeing?

Dayle (03:36)
I exactly like I blacked it out. I totally blacked it out. But it put me down a rabbit hole of like looking at my own stuff that I hadn't done in long time. And I like relived stuff I didn't know happened during that time. So like our book launches were super fun. We had two launches, two cities, two big parties, lots of people that love us showed up like the bomb, the bomb. made

Jamie (03:59)
you

Dayle (04:03)
Best seller. So in my mind, I like check the box of like I made best seller in the categories that my book was in. But what I didn't realize is that both of us had made what I did realize it because I made a post about it. It's not that I didn't realize it. It just got lost in the shuffle of the excitement, the happiness and the fun. We had made top 100 in all books, both of our books, top 100 in all books. And Jamie, that is the biggest accomplishment of both of our books.

Jamie (04:19)
Uh-huh.

Dayle (04:33)
combined. But for whatever reason, I made best seller in like another category or multiple other categories that were more smaller categories than all books sold on Amazon that day. And I just blurred it. I just literally didn't give myself the credit. And I'm so bad for that. I'm so bad for like giving myself the credit for the like 24 hours that I after. And then I move on. I'm like, what's next? Like a bad quality, you know, like

Jamie (04:43)
Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Dayle (05:02)
I will say that I think that it might be one of my worst qualities because it's like, it's my worst quality, my best quality, because it keeps your drive going to always do something new and big and awesome and continue dreaming and building your life the way you want it. But it's also sit in that, like give yourself permission to do some of your own padding on the back and like sitting in the happiness of it and like being amazed at your accomplishment because

Jamie (05:11)
Yes. Yes.

Yeah.

Dayle (05:31)
We move on way too quick for something we work that hard for. Should have got more than 24 hours worth of like, well, this is fun. Okay, next.

Jamie (05:35)
Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah. So what is your tip? What is your tip for somebody who is working really hard towards an achievement and then they achieve it? What is, what is some like tips and tricks you have for that?

Dayle (05:49)
Well, I okay,

so this is the thing. First of all, emotionally prepare yourself for the low afterwards, for the lost in space of feelings afterwards, like with the now I don't have to write my book every night till one o'clock in the morning to fit it into my day. Now I have free time. Now I have to get back to like my life that because this is the thing for me, if I'm excited about something, I'm way more likely to

Burn the Midnight Oil or get up really early and write or, you know, work hard on something. Way more motivated. And also we had book launch parties and launch dates that we had to hold accountable to. So it was not just something where we were like, ⁓ yeah, if we get it done by September, good for us. It was like we had editors waiting and then we had book cover designing and then we had to get it into, you know, production.

Jamie (06:19)
⁓ yeah, yeah. You're way more motivated when you're excited about something. You're sure.

Yeah.

Dayle (06:45)
So there was no like, put it on your own schedule, put it on the back burner time. And so what I didn't do was emotionally prepare because I've, I've had to learn these techniques where I like talk myself through and visualize myself through my speech, for instance. But then I also visualize myself after the speech is over. And like I go so far as I basically see myself like having time to myself.

Being able to take more time to do things that also bring me joy, like go out for dinner with Darren, cause I'm not practicing constantly or I'm not writing constantly. You know, so I have to like fill in, pre-fill in with other things that bring me joy and like pre-plan for them. Make plans with friends because I literally was like, I would do that and then just feel lost and almost like sad after I would do a big speaking engagement that I was excited for. I'd be like, okay, well now it's over. So life's empty.

Jamie (07:36)
Thank you.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, and I think

for the listeners that don't do speaking engagements and the listeners that haven't written a book, I think to like put it on a broader spectrum, this can happen with anything. It can be like, you you finally admitted to your family and friends about the new business that you're about to start. You've finally done... ⁓

Dayle (07:46)
Yeah.

anything. Your vacation.

Right.

Well, going on a vacation, you know, many times I like anticipate, anticipate, anticipate the high, the ride in the high for the whole month before get on the holiday, have the fun, do the things, joy, joy, joy, get home. And I'm like, now what? I need another trip, you know? And it's like, you can't take certain trips every month, you know? At a certain point, you have to stay home and do normal things. So it's like, I can even do it with just like something as joyful as a trip where I'm like,

Now I really want something else to look forward to. And I do actually think it's important. That's kind of my point is like, when you do get home from a trip, make plans to see your girlfriends, if that also brings you joy. Like find the micro ways to like fill in that joy.

Jamie (08:42)
Yeah,

that would be like my biggest thing is like find a ritual you do after the joyous thing that also brings you joy. So if after a big accomplishment or something that scares you, plan a dinner with your girlfriends, a ⁓ whatever that looks like for you, but have like a ritual around it so that you know what's coming next. You can prepare for that low.

Dayle (08:50)
Yes. Yes. Totally.

Yes.

Mm-hmm.

Totally.

Jamie (09:10)
by already having something that you know is gonna like lift you back.

Dayle (09:14)
I agree. The other thing I recommend is have a buddy system where you have somebody to talk to about it because like, do you know when something big happens in your life or you're really excited about something and you go to just your regular people like that aren't seeing it coming and you know, it might be somebody that absolutely loves you and wants the best for you, but they're scared for you. Their nerves get into your mind, whatever.

Jamie (09:20)
Yeah.

Yes.

Yeah, it's oftentimes

more so than like a perfect, you know, like someone who doesn't want to see you win. It's someone who wants to see you win really bad, but is feeling so scared for you. So they're going to be the like, you know, the devil's advocate, the person on your shoulder being like, are you, are you sure?

Dayle (09:43)
wants to see you win. Yeah.

for you.

Mm-hmm. Well, in like using the example of

let's say you finally got the courage to be like, listen, I have this idea. I want to start this business. I'm really excited about it. Here's all the stuff I planned out and I've put all my time and energy into it, kind of like ready to like soft launch it with the people you know. And you go tell your husband or your parents or your friends or, you know, people you think are going to be like so pumped and jazzed for you. And they're like, well, what's going to happen if this happens?

What does it cost up front? Yeah. What if nobody buys? What if nobody wants to hear your podcast? Yeah. Don't we think there's enough people doing this? You know, and like gives you one of those and like you're going to, you're going to crumble because we already are stepping out on this limb being like, I think all these thoughts already. I need my people to like, be like awesome idea. Love it. I'd buy that. I would love to see you do that. You know, and like you're not all your people are going to say that.

Jamie (10:20)
What if no one buys? What if nobody likes that? Don't you think that already exists?

Mm-hmm.

Dayle (10:49)
And so find your like vulnerability accomplishment buddy that is on the same trajectory as you that likes to cheer you on, even if they're not in the same business, like they don't have to be in the same world. They just have to be somebody that's like, get it girl. Yeah, I believe in you.

Jamie (11:07)
Yes, and like my biggest

piece of advice on this topic is that if you go to a retreat, you go to a mastermind, you go to an event of some kind, you find somebody that was also in that room to be your buddy. And it can be multiple people. You guys can like go home and start a group chat, all of you, or you can go home and be like, I only bonded with this one person, or that's the only one that I want to like, you know, keep a relationship with outside of this.

Dayle (11:12)
Mm-hmm.

Totally. Whatever.

Jamie (11:34)
But let that become the person so that you have this mutual shared experience. You were both riding the same high. You were both feeling excited. You were both buzzing with the energy of like, yeah, we're gonna do this. We're gonna build the business. We're gonna do all of the things so that you.

Dayle (11:40)
Yes.

Mm-hmm.

And yeah, and the openness

to say like, I deflated the minute I explained my retreat or my experience or my new friendships with my husband, my friends, my whatever, so that they can be like me too, or, you know, don't worry about it.

Jamie (11:55)
Yes, yes.

Okay.

The other thing that I

my other suggestion is If you do do something like a retreat or a mastermind where you're You're Brainstorming coming up with new ideas doing which are helping to build a business something that requires action after the fact Don't come home and sit in it of all the things that you need to do pick one thing pick one thing

Dayle (12:28)
Totally.

Jamie (12:34)
but keep moving. Like, because it's paralyzing. If you look at the marathon and you've never ran a day in your life, it's paralyzing. Like you're like, I can't possibly run 44, I don't even know how many kilometers, miles, marathon, but I'm something along those lines.

Dayle (12:44)
Exactly.

Me neither. I have no idea.

I don't even know if they measure in kilometers or miles. I have no idea.

Jamie (12:56)
I'm pretty sure it's like 40, I don't know. It's not the point of the story is that it's very daunting if you've never ran at all. But if you can run one kilometer on day one and 1.1 kilometer on day two and 1.1 kilometer on day three, and each week you go up by 0.1 of a kilometer, next thing you know, you can easily run 44 kilometers, however many kilometers. And it's not as daunting. So my suggestion is that rather than come back to your desk,

Dayle (12:59)
Whatever.

for sure.

Jamie (13:25)
with all of these ideas where you're like, I'm gonna do the thing and I'm gonna buy next year at this time, I'm gonna be a millionaire and I'm gonna launch this project and it's gonna be on Amazon and it's gonna be in the Oscar swag bag. Whatever your dream is, do not sit there and be like, but how do I get there? How do I get to the end line? Do one thing every single day to just keep momentum.

Dayle (13:39)
Totally.

and the universe loves

Yes.

One, the universe loves speed. So the faster and more like committed actions you take, the more the universe is like, I see you, I hear you, I know what you want. I see you, I hear you, I know what you want. And it can help you get it. But if you're like, ⁓ everyone's already doing this and at the, you know, mastermind, they said it would be way easier. And I didn't make content for three days. So

Jamie (13:51)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Dayle (14:15)
You know, it's kind of like the example of like, just because you ate bad at dinner, do you need to then wake up and eat bad at the next breakfast? Or you say like, I didn't make content for three days, but today I'm going to do something. Today I'm going to make content because my goal is to make content five days a week or seven days a week. Whatever you've promised yourself while you were having all those big dreams, while you were seeing yourself and your life in its best possible form, you know.

Jamie (14:22)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Dayle (14:44)
that's going

to take a different set of skills than just living a mundane life. And I think of it, I always think of it like, I think the workout thing is such a good example. If you went to the gym and you just like never sweat slowly, really slowly walked on a treadmill, but you were there for an hour. So you saw it as like, went, I worked out for an hour. Do you think you're gonna have the same results as somebody who goes there for 20 minutes, but they sprint on the

for the whole 20 minutes. They burn twice as many calories. They, you know, they are going to get their, get to their goal faster because they acted faster. They literally sweat it out.

Jamie (15:19)
Yeah.

Well, and even more so,

even more so, the person who's thinking about going to the gym is definitely not gonna reach their goal, because they're still thinking about it. No?

Dayle (15:30)
Yes, exactly. Yes, they're

stuck at home being like, I don't really have the right shoes yet, so I better not go. Yeah, for sure.

Jamie (15:41)
Yeah, yeah. The

other thing I think is that when you do do something fun, exciting, liberating, vulnerable, and then you come home and you have that crash, I like to have something that reminds me, takes me back to that place that like empowers me. So for instance, like if it's a trip that I took on, well, what can I integrate into my everyday life? Can my screensaver be a picture of me on that trip?

Dayle (15:58)
Mm-hmm.

Jamie (16:08)
to remind me that like I love to travel. And the reason I work so hard at my computer is so that one day I can get back there. Or one thing that I...

Dayle (16:09)
Yes.

Exactly. Or do you put your book

cover or do you put your podcast cover art? you like what will keep you being like I'm the badass B that did these things and I'm not letting my like, accomplishment or achievement hangover? You know?

Jamie (16:33)
Yeah.

And like, so one thing that the girls implemented after our very first ultimate girls trip was somebody wrote in the group chat, like, Hey, does anyone have any songs that inspire them? Do you remember this? And then people started chiming in with songs that inspire them. And then it became like the ultimate girls trip playlist. So every, every time I want to feel empowered, I'm like, I'm going to go throw that on. I, like you all of a sudden,

Dayle (16:46)
Yes.

Yes.

Jamie (17:01)
for me music anyways, music and smells, take me right back to that very moment, that very time. And like even the very first Laurie Herder Bliss project I went to, you remember that song that played and it was like, and I still to this day, if I hear that song, it like stops me dead in my tracks. And I'm like, I am powerful. I am whatever girl was yelling at us to believe, you know, like I.

Dayle (17:08)
Totally.

Yeah. yeah, I... Yes.

Yeah, yeah, it's the Beyonce I am or whatever. Yeah. ⁓

Jamie (17:26)
immediately go back to that person where I'm like, yeah, I am a badass bitch that can do whatever the hell I want. My dreams are sky's the limit for me. Like, so I just think that there's ways in which you can incorporate the highs of your life and bring them back to the like mundane of your life and remind you of what it is that you're working towards.

Dayle (17:33)
Exactly.

Mm-hmm.

I agree. And if you've ever felt accomplishment or achievement hangover, vulnerability hangover, we'd love to hear what triggered it for you. Because we obviously have shared our specific experiences, ⁓ but we know that they're going to be very different than the times that you were like, ⁓ this just didn't, I didn't keep my momentum. I didn't maximize my opportunity after that, whatever it looks like. And we would just love to hear your feedback about today's podcast.

Jamie (17:58)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Bye guys. ⁓

Dayle (18:19)
Bye!